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I
am a 21-year-old bisexual male who recently moved back home
to Canada. For the last two months I was overseas I was involved
with my first male partner. He was a virgin, I was not. He
knew about my bisexuality and one night propositioned me.
I refused because I was not really all that attracted to him.
A couple of weeks later I asked him if he was still interested
because I wanted to experiment. We wound up having sex pretty
much every day for two months. He kept telling me he loved
me but I made it very clear to him that this was not anything
serious. Eventually I conceded that I did love him, albeit
in a different way than he loved me.
Throughout our short relationship, he was extremely possessive
and obsessed. I was frankly relieved to leave the country.
Now that I am back home, he constantly sends me e-mails and
expects immediate answers. He professes his undying love to
me and signs his e-mails with “Love ya, sweetie” and shit
like that.
Now he wants to fly over here to see me. I have already decided
never to have sex with him again. I don’t want to hurt
him, but I can’t stand his letters anymore. I don’t love him
like he loves me. I’m not interested in being with him ever
again. He’s a really nice guy and I’d like to stay in touch,
but he acts as though we were serious boyfriends. Though we
were fucking all the time, it wasn’t ever a true relationship
to me. But since I was the first person he told about his
homosexuality, he credits me with being the single most important
person he has ever met.
I don’t want to seriously maim the guy’s feelings but I also
don’t want to read his heartfelt letters anymore. I don’t
feel that way toward him. Help!
—Confused
In Canada
Open
your mouth, CIC, and solve your problem.
It’s nice that you don’t want to hurt this man’s feelings,
but your desire to spare him is what got you into this mess
in the first—no, wait. I take that back. It was your willingness
to take advantage of a guy you weren’t “all that into,” a
guy who was not only closeted but a virgin too, so you could
“experiment” on his ass “every day for two months” that got
you into this mess in the first place. You could have spared
yourself the emotional torment of having to read “Love ya,
sweetie” in his letters if you had simply refrained from fucking
him once you realized that his feelings for you were so much
more intense than yours were for him.
But that was then. Now you’re back in Canada and this poor,
deluded sap is sending you love letters and planning to come
and visit. So what do you do? You stop telling him what he
wants to hear. You’ve been telling him what he wants to hear
since that night you got drunk and decided to experiment on
him, a mistake you compounded by telling him you loved him.
You may think you covered your ass by tacking an “albeit in
a different way” on to the end of “I love you” but he didn’t
hear your lame qualifier. All he heard were those three magic
words—love’s like that, whether you’re talking requited, unrequited,
delusional, man-on-dog, whatever.
So it’s time to face the music, CIC. You brought him out,
you took his virginity, and now you’re going to break his
heart. Write the boy a letter, tell him you don’t love him,
tell him you don’t want him to come and see you, and tell
him you’re not going to read any more of his letters or e-mails.
Will it hurt? Yes. But we all get our hearts broken sooner
or later, CIC, and I assure you that this boy will recover.
Most gay men at some point in their lives found themselves
on the receiving end of some selfish bisexual guy’s “experiment”
and the vast majority of us get over it.
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My boyfriend is uncircumcised. In general, no big deal.
However his dick often tastes and smells like pee. I’ve observed
that he does not pull back the foreskin when taking a piss,
and I think pee gets trapped under the foreskin. I often find
myself unable to give him blowjobs because I dislike the taste
and smell. I want to be a game lover—and if a man didn’t want
to go down on me because of the taste, I’d think he was an
insensitive bastard—but I know I’ll never enjoy giving him
oral sex while I’m tasting pee.
Is this a common problem with uncircumcised men? What can
be done? Do other uncircumcised men pull back the foreskin
when peeing?
—No
Pee For Me
Hmm.
Now that I think of it, a lot of my mail involves situations
in which people can solve their problems by opening their
mouths. So common are these situations that I believe it’s
acronym worthy: OYMSYP, NPFM—open your mouth, solve your problem.
Tell your boyfriend that if he wants you to suck his cock
he’s going to have to start pulling his foreskin back when
he takes a piss. It’s not a lot to ask and it’s what most
uncut men already do. Unless he’s limber enough to auto-fellate,
he may not be aware that his urination technique is leaving
his dick in an unappetizing condition. OYMSYP without delay.
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My favorite movie musical song is the Jane Russell number
in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, “Ain’t There Anyone Here
for Love?” which goes something like this: “I like big muscles
and red corpuscles, I like a beautiful hunk of man.” Problem
is I don’t seem to attract muscle men myself. Obviously it’s
a big fantasy, but can this fantasy come true? Try as I might,
I can’t seem to get to first base, let alone up to bat. Do
you think this can ever happen?
—Alone
In Albany
Sure
it can happen, AIA, if you’re willing to pay to play. Gym
memberships, protein supplements, and steroids are all expensive,
and there are lots of body builders out there who help make
ends meet by renting themselves to guys like you.
“It’s
a big fantasy for a lot of people,” says Trey Rexx, a great
big hunk of an escort who lives and works in Salt Lake City—yes,
the one in Utah. (You can check out Trey at www.treyrexx.com.)
“Some people make a big deal about ‘not wanting to pay for
it,’ but what I tell people is that you wind up paying for
it somehow. Even if it’s just a dinner date, you’re paying
for it. Why is it such a big deal to pay to see someone you
know to be your physical ideal to fulfill a fantasy?” So does
a muscular male escort get a lot of work in a conservative
place like Utah? “Definitely,” says Trey, “a lot of it is
‘straight’ men, mostly.” It always is, isn’t it?
Finally, mail from people who want to praise, bury, or perfect
my “drug-support payments” proposal continues to pour in.
Should guys who infect others with HIV have to help pay the
costs of the drugs the people they infect are going to need
to stay alive? To read all about it, go to www.metroland.net/savageextra.html.
mail@savagelove.net
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