OiNK

If it snorts and oinks like pigs at the government trough . . . then it must be Only in New York, a group of talented performers who make wicked fun of George Pataki, Shelly Silver, Uncle Joe Bruno and the rest of our leaders. OiNK are the comedy troupe who show New York state politicians and elected officials exactly the amount of deference they deserve.

We here at Metroland can fully attest to the quality of the satire: At the New York Press Association annual conference two years ago, OiNK were the featured entertainment. And in front of an audience of journalists who are intimately familiar with the absurdities of how the Empire State is “governed,” they totally killed.

This show, dubbed an April Fools Egg-Splosion, will feature new songs about clueless presidential hopeful Pataki (“Stranger to the Right”) and canny, I’m-not-running presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton (“I’m Leaving New York State Behind”). The really exciting news? “There are unconfirmed reports that Vice President Cheney will be on an upstate hunting trip that weekend, and might stop by the Egg.”

Our advice? Wear a lot of orange.

OiNK will perform Saturday (April 1) at 8 PM at the Egg (Empire State Plaza, Albany). Tickets are $20. For reservations and information, call the Egg at 473-1845.

Capitol Chamber Artists

If you love that baroque sound—and we know you do—then this Saturday night program is for you. Capitol Chamber Artists, with special guest tenor Dan Foster, will present an International Baroque Festival.

This is, of course, “international” in the 17th-century sense, when traveling from Sweden to Finland was more-or-less unheard of unless you were a diplomat or part of an invading army. There will be works by three Germans (J.S. Bach, Georg Philip Telemann and Johann Pachelbel), an Italian (Giovanni Vitali), an Englishman/Irishman (John Dowland, born in either London or Dublin—recordkeeping wasn’t what it is today, OK?) and the Belgian who popularized the flute in England (Jean-Baptiste Loeillet). Of course, as is the CCA style, the music will be performed on period instruments: harpsichord, flute, violin and cello.

Capitol Chamber Artists will present an International Baroque Festival Saturday (April 1) at 8 PM at the First Congregational Church (405 Quail St., Albany). There is a preconcert recital at 7 PM. Tickets are $16 and $8 students. For more information, call 458-9231.

Kris Kristofferson

Kris Kristofferson is a member of the Songwriters Hall of Fame and the Country Music Hall of fame. Yet, most kids these days probably know Kristofferson for his day job: jive-talking vampire slayer “Whistler” in the Blade Trilogy.

The release of Kristofferson’s This Old Road breaks his 11-year absence from the music industry, an industry that Kristofferson scraped and clawed to get into. After returning from overseas duty in the Army in the ’60s, Kristofferson turned down a teaching position at West Point and took a job as a janitor at Columbia Records so that he could get his foot in the door—all while he struggled to pay for his sick son’s medical bills. So, has sharing the screen with Wesley Snipes and being covered in fake gore lessened the impact of Kristofferson’s rugged country blues? No, not at all: Producer Don Was of Dylan and Rolling Stones fame lends the recording a ragged yet luminous sound, and Kristofferson comes off as his one-time Highwayman bandmate Johnny Cash did in his later years—reflective, weathered, and more often than not, hopeful.

Kris Kristofferson will perform tonight (Thursday, March 30) at 8 PM at the Egg (Empire State Plaza, Albany). Tickets are $28. For more info, call the box office at 473-1845.