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I
am a 19-year-old male with a 4.5-inch cock that has not grown
since I was 12. My girlfriend says that it does not penetrate
deeply enough. I have already lost two girlfriends because
they said the sex wasn’t sensational enough. My doctor says
I could have surgery, but my girlfriend says I should take
pills. I would go with my doctor, but I don’t want to have
them fuck up my cock.
—Cock
Ain’t Penetrating
“I’m
not sure how CAP is measuring,” says Alice Dreger, a faculty
member of the Medical Humanities and Bioethics program at
Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine. “Flaccid
unstretched, flaccid stretched, sort of turned on, way turned
on—all this matters in regards to length when you go to look
at available stats.”
Dreger has worked as a patient advocate for people born with
“different-than-average sex anatomies” for more than a decade
(you can read more about her work at www.alicedreger.com).
She took a spin as a guest expert in this space a few months
ago and her advice for women with big clits was so good that
I invited her back to offer some advice for men with small
dicks. A word of warning, CAP, before we dive on your cock:
Dreger invited a couple of additional guest experts to weigh
in, so you need to pay attention to the quotation marks if
you want to keep track of who’s telling you what.
“Assuming
CAP is telling us that the biggest he gets is 4.5 inches,”
says Dreger, “his penis is ‘totally within the range of normal,’
according to Dr. Kevin McVary, professor of urology at Northwestern
University’s Feinberg School of Medicine.”
So if your dick is in the “normal range,” why are girlfriends,
docs, and spammers pushing surgery and pills on you?
“There
are plenty of doctors and Internet charlatans (and some docs
who are Internet charlatans) who will be happy to make CAP
feel smaller still and offer him ‘enhancements,’ including
a variety of surgeries,” says Dreger. To find out if any of
these surgeries work, Dreger pored over PubMed, a government-run
medical literature index. “Your taxpayer dollars at work reveal
shockingly little study of these procedures,” says Dreger.
“Could this be true, I wondered? Are surgeons out there messing
with guys’ stuff for nonmedical reasons and not keeping track
of the outcomes?”
Yup, says Dr. McVary.
“When
challenged to present outcomes publicly in international research
forums—any type of objective outcome—these purveyors
come up empty-handed,” says Dr. McVary. “They have never shown
a benefit to a patient, even by any kind of quasi-academic
means.”
There’s a very good reason docs doing these “enhancements”
don’t ask, don’t tell, and don’t publish much about outcomes:
Surveys of men who have had these surgeries show that most
aren’t happy with the results. How unhappy are some guys?
Well, earlier this year, a man pleaded guilty to a “weapons
of mass destruction” charge for mailing a bomb to the surgeon
who botched his penile-enlargement surgery. I’m not going
to compound this poor guy’s misery by mentioning his name,
but my inner 12-year-old obligates me to mention this detail:
The bomb was mailed from Reamstown, Pa.
Just in case two guest experts and one angry small-dicked
mail bomber aren’t enough to convince you that surgery is
a dumb choice, CAP, Dreger lined up a third guest expert.
“It
is foolish, risky surgery,” says Dr. Justine Schober, urologist
at Hamot Medical Center in Erie, Pennsylvania. “The same holds
true for pills that supposedly increase length: useless at
best, risky at worst.”
If surgery is foolish and pills are useless, what can you
do?
“CAP’s
girlfriend says his penis doesn’t penetrate deeply enough,”
says Dreger. “CAP could try positions that let him get in
deeper, or, better yet, he could take the time to figure out
where his girlfriend’s ‘sweet spots’ are, because, according
to the sexology literature, length matters less than location.”
That means you need to retool your grind, CAP, not cut up
your meat. “He could also be more creative and use techniques
in addition to penis-vagina intercourse.”
You also need to stop viewing your dick as somehow fatal to
your romantic prospects.
“Dr.
Schober did a study of guys who had really small penises,”
Dreger continues, “small enough to be described as ‘micropenises.’”
And how do these men—men with dicks so small that doctors
feel free to toss around an ego-shattering prefix like “micro”
when discussing their dicks—do with the ladies? “This study
found that they tend to have ‘close and long-lasting relationships’
with women,” Dreger says. And Dr. Schober says: “They often
attribute partner sexual satisfaction . . . to their need
to make extra effort, including nonpenetrating techniques.”
One of the microdicked men in Dr. Schober’s study had a wife
and a mistress. “So much for the theory that having
a small member won’t get you a woman,” says Dreger.
Finally, in her research, Dreger ran across numerous articles
about guys who tried to “self-enhance.” She was reluctant
to share the “dumb-shit stuff they tried,” lest it inspire
small-dicked men out there to attempt similarly stupid stuff.
“The docs reporting on trying to help them didn’t know whether
to laugh or cry,” was all she would say at first. When I assured
Dreger that small-dicked readers of Savage Love have high
self-esteem, great nonpenetrating technique, and more wives
and mistresses than they can shake their micropenises at,
she came through with one tragic example of self-enhancement:
men injecting petroleum jelly directly into their penises.
“Nonsterile
petroleum jelly,” Dreger adds. “Some of the guys ended up
so scarred, surgeons had to basically cut up their penises
and rebuild them. And a rebuilt transmission may function
a lot like a new transmission, but the male organ is not a
transmission.”
I met a kind, funny, attractive man. The problem is
his penis is pretty small. I spent the past two years with
a well-endowed ex and it’s hard to be satisfied now that I’m
not being “filled up.” How do I broach the subject of using
toys without hurting his feelings? I want to bring my silicone
friends into the bedroom!
—Canadian
Craving More Cock
I
wouldn’t advise you to pull open a junk drawer full of dick-shaped
silicone friends, CCMC, as that will prompt your boyfriend
to draw immediate and unflattering comparisons to his own
junk. Instead, take a hard look at some of your boyfriend’s
other body parts. He may not be able to give you that filled-up
feeling with his dick, but I’ll bet he could with one or both
of his forearms. (And, hey, most men have feet that are at
least 10 inches long.) Done correctly—lots of lube, lots of
time—fisting won’t hurt you. Done incorrectly—too little lube,
too little time—and fisting could land you in the hospital,
at the morgue, or on the Drudge Report. While there’s tons
of good info on the Web about vaginal fisting (gotta love
that vaginal-fisting entry on Wikipedia), I urge wannabe fisters
to invest in a copy of A Hand in the Bush: The Fine Art
of Vaginal Fisting by Deborah Addington.
Oh, and those watches and wedding bands, beginning fisters?
Remove ’em or lose ’em.
There’s
tons of advice from Savage Love readers for AWOL, the macrodicked
reader with problems of his own, at www.thestranger.com/savage/macrodick.
A
new Savage Love podcast is available for download every Tuesday
at www.thestranger.com/savage. If you would like to record
a question for a future podcast—can’t do ’em without your
help!—call (206) 201-2720.
mail@savagelove.net
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