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| PHOTO:
Chris Shields |
Greedstock
It
may be raining, but for the gamers waiting three days on line
for Sony’s PlayStation 3, the rainbow might just be on eBay
By
David King
What
are these people thinking? Sure I guess you could call them
“brave,” all 50 or so cuddled up under wavering plastic tents,
battered by the wind and rain that had felled trees and knocked
cars into ditches elsewhere in the state last Thursday night.
Yes they are organized, keeping lists of who is technically
still entrenched. They are patient, giving up three days to
dedicate to the pursuit of their most vaunted prize. They
are selfless and self-sacrificing, giving up heat, the comforts
of home, and most of all their dignity. They are also behaving
much like rats in a maze, cramming up against the small entryway
for one tiny bit of cheese.
And so I ask, “What the fuck?”
They aren’t just in front of Crossgates; they are in front
of Wal-Marts and Targets all over the Capital Region, and
stores across the nation, dressed in backwards baseball caps,
pristine white sneakers and oversized hoodies, full of the
hi-tech bloodlust that has gripped the geek community.
In Connecticut, some poor souls brave gunfire. Elsewhere,
a man is trampled by charging crowds. A crowd in Virginia
is subdued with rubber bullets and pepper spray. There are
riots in California and Ohio. The police shut down several
Super Wal-Marts and malls across the country due to riots;
and the ill-behaved queue formers have the media riding their
jocks all the way. They give them blogs, press microphones
to their faces, give them TV time, like just maybe
they have something important to say. Like during the brain-dead
time spent in front of the Mecca of materialism they might
have some sort of epiphany: “Well gee, Mark, I was online
to buy a man-toy and then it hit me—I know the formula for
world peace!”
None of them has a noble cause, no charity to work for, no
life to be saved by their obsessive compulsion to sit in front
of a store. All they want is the sleek black contour of a
PlayStation 3 pressed against their chest. And Sony bigwigs
will get what they want: more press for their overpriced,
half-ready, underdeveloped toy. Best Buy gets what it wants,
too: more press for its Music Shack-devouring store. And the
schmucks in the line get something they didn’t know they wanted:
attention and praise for doing something so obsessive and
pathetic that Dr. Phil wouldn’t be able to help them overcome
their neurosis.
So really, what would possess someone to spend days of their
lives in front of a mall? Some want to play it—to shell out
$600 for the system and another $60 for a game to mindlessly
amuse themselves after a hard day at work. But as The New
York Times and NPR found out, about four out of
five people on line intend to sell their PS3s on eBay or to
the insidious businessmen who occasionally drive past making
offers like Johns to a street community of soaking-wet hookers.
Taco Bell even got in on the act this week, offering a lifetime
supply of tacos for a PS3. I personally would have stuck with
the thousands of dollars the PS3 is going for on eBay (some
are selling for more than $2,000 at the online auction site)—but
for some of the more herbally minded gamers, the tacos might
be a good investment.
I pose my “What the fuck?” question to a friend over coffee.
“Wouldn’t you wait in line with a bunch of doofuses for a
couple days to make a couple thou?” he asks. “I’m a gamer,”
I reply. “I wouldn’t spend one day in line with, you know,
real people.”
On Sunday, smaller lines start for the more modestly priced
Nintendo Wii. The Wii purchasers I speak to actually plan
on playing the system, or at least giving it to a child who
would. As it turns out, the PS3 has turned out to be a bit
of a disappointment, with The New York Times and a
number of gaming blogs calling the system unfinished.
A friend of mine who is less-than-video-game-savvy encounters
the PS3 wretches while walking by a Wal-Mart, and inquires
what the line is for. “We’re waiting for Sinatra tickets!”
replies one deadly clever queue person. “Getting rich!” shouts
another. “Oh, burn!” declares still another. My friend continues
on his way, and buys a gallon of milk. A gallon of milk he
plans to drink—no, you won’t be able to bid for it on eBay.
dking@metroland.net
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