was listening to the radio yesterday morning, and I heard
an interview with you about your It Gets Better campaign.
I was saddened and frustrated with your comments regarding
people of faith and their perpetuation of bullying. As someone
who loves the Lord and does not support gay marriage, I can
honestly say I was heartbroken to hear about the young man
who took his own life.
If your message is that we should not judge people based on
their sexual preference, how do you justify judging entire
groups of people for any other reason (including their faith)?
There is no part of me that took any pleasure in what happened
to that young man, and I know for a fact that is true of many
other people who disagree with your viewpoint.
To that end, to imply that I would somehow encourage my children
to mock, hurt, or intimidate another person for any reason
is completely unfounded and offensive. Being a follower of
Christ is, above all things, a recognition that we are all
imperfect, fallible, and in desperate need of a savior. We
cannot believe that we are better or more worthy than other
Please consider your viewpoint, and please be more careful
with your words in the future.
sorry your feelings were hurt by my comments.
No, wait. I’m not. Gay kids are dying. So let’s try to keep
things in perspective: Fuck your feelings.
A question: Do you “support” atheist marriage? Interfaith
marriage? Divorce and remarriage? All are legal, all go against
Christian and/or traditional ideas about marriage, and yet
there’s no “Christian” movement to deny marriage rights to
atheists or people marrying outside their respective faiths
or people divorcing and remarrying.
Why the hell not?
Sorry, L.R., but so long as you support the denial of marriage
rights to same-sex couples, it’s clear that you do believe
that some people—straight people—are “better or more worthy”
And—sorry—but you are partly responsible for the bullying
and physical violence being visited on vulnerable LGBT children.
The kids of people who see gay people as sinful or damaged
or disordered and unworthy of full civil equality—even if
those people strive to express their bigotry in the politest
possible way (at least when they happen to be addressing a
gay person)—learn to see gay people as sinful, damaged, disordered,
and unworthy. And while there may not be any gay adults or
couples where you live, or at your church, or in your workplace,
I promise you that there are gay and lesbian children in your
schools. And while you can only attack gays and lesbians at
the ballot box, nice and impersonally, your children have
the option of attacking actual gays and lesbians, in person,
in real time.
Real gay and lesbian children. Not political abstractions,
not “sinners.” Gay and lesbian children.
Try to keep up: The dehumanizing bigotries that fall from
the lips of “faithful Christians,” and the lies about us that
vomit out from the pulpits of churches that “faithful Christians”
drag their kids to on Sundays, give your children license
to verbally abuse, humiliate, and condemn the gay children
they encounter at school. And many of your children—having
listened to Mom and Dad talk about how gay marriage is a threat
to family and how gay sex makes their magic sky friend Jesus
cry—feel justified in physically abusing the LGBT children
they encounter in their schools. You don’t have to explicitly
“encourage [your] children to mock, hurt, or intimidate” queer
kids. Your encouragement—along with your hatred and fear—is
implicit. It’s here, it’s clear, and we’re seeing the fruits
of it: dead children.
Oh, and those same dehumanizing bigotries that fill your straight
children with hate? They fill your gay children with suicidal
despair. And you have the nerve to ask me to be more
careful with my words?
Did that hurt to hear? Good. But it couldn’t have hurt nearly
as much as what was said and done to Asher Brown and Justin
Aaberg and Billy Lucas and Cody Barker and Seth Walsh—day-in,
day-out for years—at schools filled with bigoted little monsters
created not in the image of a loving God, but in the image
of the hateful and false “followers of Christ” they call Mom
am engaged to a man whose sexual orientation is somewhat confusing
A few months ago, I discovered transgender porn on his computer.
When I asked him about it, he said he just watches all kinds
of porn “just to watch it.” That sounded like total bullshit
to me—and it was proved to be total bullshit when I discovered
that he watches only this type of porn. I also recently discovered
a letter he had composed a few years back to another man asking
him to “hook up,” stating that my fiancé had had a one-night
stand with another guy and really wanted to do it again. The
letter also states that my fiancé had a girlfriend, and since
“discretion is very important” to him, he could only hook
up when she was out of town.
I can deal with somebody being bisexual. I have bisexual fantasies
myself. However, I can’t deal with someone lying to himself
and to me, and being unfaithful. Sadly, I can’t really make
this guy confess to me that he is bi. When I tried, he simply
told me, “You are so blind.” What does that mean?
I really don’t want to dump the guy. I love him. My question
is, I guess, what the fuck do I do? I feel like crazy bitch
supreme trying to get this out of him, but it’s impossible
not to think about.
nothing to be confused about: Your fiancé is very clearly
bisexual. Gay men just aren’t into chicks-with-dicks porn;
that’s a genre that appeals exclusively to straight/straightish/bi
So why can he be open about his cocksuckery with a complete
stranger—that dude he sent the letter that you “discovered”—but
not with you?
It’s a tired cliché, I realize, and I shy away from it for
that reason, but in this case the shoe fits: Your fiancé has
a bad case of the internalized homophobias. He finds it easier
to be open with someone he doesn’t care about and is unlikely
to see ever again precisely because he doesn’t care about
that person and isn’t going to see him again. If you or the
other people in his life he’s close to knew, he fears you
would see him as damaged or inferior because that’s how he
So, yep, a bad case of the internalized homophobias. He’s
not entirely responsible for contracting this malady—our homophobic
culture is the disease vector here—but, as an adult, he is
responsible for working through it, for overcoming it, for
being truthful with himself and the people he claims to love.
If he can’t be honest with you—the snoop he claims to love—about
his sexual orientation, and if being cheated on is deal breaker
for you (and he will cheat on you), don’t marry him.
a loud fucker, just like the partner of the woman who wrote
in recently. With my consent, my partner uses a pillow to
dampen my screams, so I don’t have to worry I’ll piss off
all fun and games—loud fun, ear-splitting games—until someone
accidentally asphyxiates a screamer. But thanks for sharing,