I love your open, honest, thoughtful advice, but what you
said to Momma Violates Poppa, the sexually frustrated pregnant
woman whose husband won’t sleep with her, was as cruel as
what her husband’s doing to her. Yes, it’s possible that her
husband’s just plain not turned on. But no sex with the love
of her life for nine months? I think that garners more than
“Maybe you’re just too ugly for him right now, sweetie.” How
about suggesting that they talk about it honestly and
openly without strings or games. Seeing as how they’ve been
married for five years, who better for him to open up to than
advice is nice in theory, HOT, but do you really think that
MVP’s husband is in any position to tell her the truth? Can
you picture it?
Mrs. MVP: “We need to talk about what’s going on in our sex
life, honey. So, tell me, what’s going on?”
Mr. MVP: “Your pregnant body and/or the presence of our unborn
child is/are a huge turn off for me.”
I wouldn’t want to be trying to get any sleep in the apartment
next door the night Mr. MVP opened up to Mrs. MVP. Face it,
HOT, there are certain things straight men are NOT allowed
to say to pregnant women (especially women they’ve impregnated),
and “you don’t turn me on right now, honey” is at the top
of the list.
I’m writing to complain about your
thoughtless reply to “Mama Violates Poppa.” I firmly believe
that if a man is so put off by the pregnant belly he helped
make, then maybe he shouldn’t be making babies in the first
place. Why not recommend that this couple speak to their OB/GYN
to help settle any concerns that the husband might have about
hurting the baby, or even a little couples counseling to work
through this issue?
Mrs. MVP drags Mr. MVP to an OB/GYN and a shrink and they
. . . what? Order him to fuck her? Administer electric shocks
until Mr. MVP can get it up? Sorry, TIO, but if Mr. MVP is
simply and sincerely goobed out by the thought of having vaginal
intercourse with his wife while his unborn child floats around
at the top of the vaginal canal, there’s very little his wife’s
OB/GYN can do about it. Luckily for Mrs. MVP, no one is pregnant
It sounds like MVP needs to lay off
with the maternity-sex PSAs and not try quite so hard. But
Dan: “So tell your husband that nothing is expected of him
over the next few months. . . .” Come on! Look, I know you
boys can’t force an erection. However, because he doesn’t
immediately go sha-wing at the site of her round belly does
not mean that he cannot be aroused by her, by oral sex, or
at least by an adult video playing in the bedroom. And once
he’s aroused, I’d say it’s more than likely that he can stay
that way and have intercourse with her.
you honestly think all the women out there who want to cut
my balls off for telling Mrs. MVP the truth would be smiling
on me if I’d written, “Oh, gee, why not pop in an adult video
so that your husband can look at that instead of your
big, round belly and then maybe, just maybe, he’ll be able
to keep it up long enough to fuck you”? I hardly think advising
Mr. MVP to look at porn when his wife is in the room—you know,
the same wife he’s obligated to find attractive—will be any
better received than the infinitely more realistic advice
I gave MVP. And remember, furies, my advice to MVP did not
rule out cuddling, mutual masturbation, or even oral sex.
In fact, I think Mr. MVP is likelier to engage in those
mutually pleasurable, no-spoogin’ on junior activities if
Mrs. MVP lets him know that vaginal intercourse isn’t expected
of him just now.
Call me a naive 21-year-old who has
never had kids, but I think MVP’s husband is a real ASSHOLE.
Most men—real men!—find pregnant women sexy because they have
respect for women and their bodies’ female processes.
Impressed With You
yes, NIWY: Some men do find pregnant women attractive, and
God bless them, and I hope and pray that they’re the majority
My wife recently gave birth to our
adorable baby daughter and I have something to say to the
pregnant wife who can’t get any: Unfortunately, I think Dan
might be right. A woman’s pregnant body is beautiful in concept,
but beautiful in the way that a mountain gorilla or a panda
bear is beautiful. As lovely as a pregnant woman is, its just
not that hot to screw a panda bear.
Maker, Baby Thinker
for sharing, you asshole.
Thanks for your blunt answer to the
pregnant woman. I just went through an identical experience.
You were right: After the baby comes, sex goes back to its
normal wonderful self, if at different times of the day.
Sated New Mom
for sharing, SSNM, and I hope you’re getting nailed good and
hard morning, noon, and naptime.
I’d like to add a bit to your response
to MVP, the pregnant woman whose husband wouldn’t boff her.
When I was pregnant with both of my kids, my husband readily
admitted that the idea of having sex when his kid being inches
away gave him the creeps. Unfortunately, part of the deal
with pregnancy is hormonal changes that can make the woman
much hornier than usual. I sure miss that part. I would advise
MVP to enjoy the ride, and play with herself with wild abandon.
Maybe she could find an accommodating guy with a kink for
for sharing, PWN. But where on earth would MVP find an accommodating
guy with a kink for pregnant women? Why, right here in “Savage
Love” of course.
Plenty of guys (guys like me) think
pregnant women are hot. However, finding a beautiful prego
partner can be a challenge. Most traditional venues for hooking
up (bars, clubs) don’t really cater to pregnant women. Here’s
a solution: Next time MVP goes to the maternity store, she
should introduce herself to any guy who comes into the store
by himself. Why? Because guys who go to maternity stores alone
are only there to check out the prego babes. I guarantee that
MVP will find a guy who will happily take care of her husband’s
don’t know what’s creepier: The idea of men with pregnancy
fetishes cruising maternity stores, the term “prego,” or you,