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Critic:
Shawn Stone
Best
of 2003
1.
Kill Bill Vol. 1
Quentin
Tarantino returns with a blood-splattered, pure cinematic
rush. Uma Thurman is heroic; Lucy Liu is cool; Vivica A. Fox
is poignant; Darryl Hannah is pure evil; and the unseen (but
heard) David Carradine is the devil himself. I can’t wait
for part two.
2.
Spider
David
Cronenberg does it again. This bleak story of a schizophrenic
trying to make sense of his life is compelling and tragic.
Ralph Fiennes’ performance in the title role is the year’s
best.
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Are
we there yet? (l-r) Elijah Wood and Sean Astin in Lord
of the Rings: The Return of the King.
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3.
Lost in Translation
Sofia
Coppola not only gave Bill Murray a career role, she made
a romantic comedy that can best be described as courtly. What
is it, 1903?
4.
Down With Love
Peyton
Reed’s candy-colored deconstruction of Doris Day sex comedies
has a joy notably absent from most films this year. This is
more proof that going against the public mood gets you nowhere.
5.
American Splendor
Paul
Giammati is Harvey Pekar, and Harvey Pekar is Harvey Pekar.
(Plus, there’s the Harvey Pekar drawn by R. Crumb.) Message?
Be yourself (if you can figure out who that is).
6.
Winged Migration
In
this documentary about migratory birds, nature isn’t pretty,
heartwarming or sexy. It’s majestic.
7.
A Mighty Wind
Probably
the most insanely detailed of the Christopher Guest-Eugene
Levy mockumentaries, with a great soundtrack and surprising
heart.
8.
Bad Santa
Sometimes
you have to be bad to be good. There’s never been a more grotesque
screen Santa than Billy Bob Thornton, God bless him.
9.
Divine Intervention
Ingenious
(and depressing) Palestinian film about the Israeli occupation.
The story is constructed like a puzzle, and figuring out what
the hell is going on is grim but rewarding work.
10.
The Magdalene Sisters
Legalized
female slavery, courtesy of Ireland’s Roman Catholic Church.
And yes, it happened in our lifetime.
Worst
of 2003
1.
Masked & Anonymous
Can
we all, finally, admit that Bob Dylan is through? He’s been
shitting us (more often than not) beginning with Blood
on the Tracks, and this smug, egocentric junk is only
the latest con job.
2.
All the Real Girls
Lovely
to look at, but pretentious and dull. (This film even made
train yards boring.)
3.
Gigli
Martin
Brest isn’t an auteur. Ben Affleck isn’t an actor. Jennifer
Lopez isn’t a lesbian. Al Pacino is insane.
4.
View From the Top
Stewardess—er,
flight attendant—comedy devoid of laughs.
5.
Bad Boys II
For
five minutes, Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are allowed to
be as funny and dynamic as Hope and Crosby. The other two
hours consists of idiot director Michael Bay blowing things
up.
Critic: Ann Morrow
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Once
more with feeling: Bill Murray in Lost in Translation.
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Best
of 2003
1.
Russian Ark
Shot
as a single, fluidly uninterrupted 96-minute whirl through
the fabled interiors of Russia’s Hermitage museum, this surreal
travelogue comments on 300 years of art, culture and history
under the guise of a dream as revealed to a ghost. Infinitely
more than a breathtaking stunt (more than 2,000 actors perform
in perfect choreography throughout six buildings), Alexsander
Sokurov’s delirious filmmaking illumines the turbulent soul
of Russia in a way no standard narrative ever could.
2.
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
More
so than in the first two installments, director Peter Jackson
takes liberties with Tolkien’s hallowed text—and for the first
time, some of those liberties do not ring true. But unwarranted
concessions to popular (i.e., violent) taste aside, Jackson’s
fantastical realization of the Great War for Middle Earth
fulfills the nearly impossible quest of bringing the books
to big-screen life, creating in the process an unprecedented
epic of the imagination.
3.
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Watching
this film directed by the inventive Peter Weir, even landlubbers
will find themselves mesmerized by life aboard a man-of-war
during the Napoleonic Wars. The stunning historical authenticity,
bravura battle scenes, and forceful acting merge into an intelligent
and charming literary adaptation that doubles as a rousing
action spectacular.
4.
Finding Nemo
This
wildly enchanting yet heart-tugging family adventure about
an overprotective clown fish and his rebellious son, Nemo,
has it all: groundbreaking fantasias of light and color, witty
repartee, hilarious scenarios, memorable characters (Ellen
Degeneris’ absent-minded blue tang and Willem Dafoe’s scarred
angelfish among them) and a meaningful story. Pure delight
for all ages.
5.
Whale Rider
In
this transfixing New Zealand film, an ancient Maori myth comes
to life through the extraordinary determination of a 12-year-old
Maori girl who is barred from assuming the hereditary leadership
of her village because she was born the wrong gender. An unpredictable
and insightful coming-of-age story steeped in the beautiful
traditions of Maori culture, the film is elevated by the radiant
naturalism of Keisha Castle-Hughes, who makes the most memorable
debut of the year.
6.
Mystic River
A
motivational short-circuit in the screen adaptation by Brian
Helgeland is the only reason Clint Eastwood’s unnerving crime
drama does not rank as a truly great film. Even still, its
ambiguous morality, elegiac direction, and harrowing ensemble
acting (notably Tim Robbins as a defeated victim on the brink)
reverberate far longer than the virtues of other, better-written
films.
7.
Matchstick Men
An
unexpectedly entertaining and stylish crime caper from Ridley
Scott that’s similar to, and more cleverly realized, than
both Catch Me if You Can and Adaptation. As
a phobic but brilliantly improvisational con artist, Nicolas
Cage outdoes his Oscar-nominated turn in Adaptation
while the hijinx build up to a you-won’t-see-it-coming whammy
of an ending.
8.
Lost in Translation
Often
wan when it means to be reflective, and not nearly as funny
as it should’ve been, Sofia Coppola’s semi-autobiographical
tone poem makes the grade for sheer originality and technical
assurance—as well as for Bill Murray’s transcendently wry
performance. As a jet-lagged, has-been movie star adrift in
go-go Tokyo, Murray proves himself to be more than a comic
genius: He’s the Zen master of parody.
9.
Pieces of April
This
acerbic family drama occurs on Thanksgiving Day, but passes
on the feel-good flavorings in favor of bleak humor as a bratty
punk living in tenement reluctantly prepares dinner for her
parents and siblings. Although her stove doesn’t work, the
biggest obstacle to the family’s reunion is the animosity
between daughter and terminally ill mother, which is movingly
delineated. Patricia Clarkson deserves an Oscar nod for her
caustic but heartbreaking performance.
10.
Marci X
Both
exasperatingly silly and subversively hilarious, this cross-cultural
comedy (Jewish-princess socialite gets down with gangsta-rapper
mogul) is nowhere near being one of the best films of the
year. But it is one of the funniest, and is included on this
list to counteract the year’s most overrated comedy, The
School of Rock. Get back, Jack Black: you’re just not
in the same class as Marci’s Lisa Kudrow, especially
when it comes to musical spoofery.
Worst
of 2003
1.
The Order
Do
we really need a movie about a papal candidate who moonlights
as the major domo of a hardcore S&M club? Written and
directed by Brian Helgeland, this sickly occult thriller isn’t
just sleazy and sloppy, it’s also brainless and boring.
2.
Beyond Borders
Genocide,
disease, and famine (complete with CGI starving children)
are used as tear-jerking backdrops for the ludicrously star-crossed
romance between socialite Angelina Jolie and boneheaded relief-camp
doctor Clive Owen in this politically idiotic weepie.
3.
Cold Creek Manor
Although
directed by astute British auteur Mike Figgis, this is just
another stupid and derivative thriller that relies on silly
backwoods-gothic trickery. Figgis isn’t just slumming here—he’s
plummeting to B-movie depths.
4.
Boat Trip
A
pathetic attempt at gay-themed slapstick that sends a recently
dumped homophobe (Cuba Gooding Jr.) on a gay cruise. Gooding
in a G-string and feathered headdress puts the gag in sight
gag.
5.
I Capture the Castle
A
sincere and picturesque misfire. Not the most egregiously
cloying Brit dramedy of the year, but perhaps the most disappointing,
especially to readers of the beloved novel it’s adapted from.
Critic: Ralph Hammann
Best
of 2003
1.
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
The
masterwork against which all others should bow in respect.
Is Peter Jackson heir to Lean and Kurosawa?
2.
Lost in Translation
Demonstrating
the extraordinary sensitivity she first displayed as an underappreciated
actress in The Godfather III, Sofia Coppola has made
a worthy successor to her deft The Virgin Suicides.
3.
Dark Blue
A
cop film elevated to near epic heights with a tragic-hero-caliber
performance by Kurt Russell.
4.
Pieces of April
All
of the small pieces of this unique film grow in impact as
the film quietly progresses to its unexpectedly touching and
powerful climax.
5.
The Quiet American
Featuring
a stellar performance by Michael Caine, this is a reminder
of those great old films based on or written by Graham Greene
(in this case, based on Greene’s novel).
6.
Dirty Pretty Things
Audrey
Tatou in a black comedy that tickles the funny bone for poetic
justice.
7.
The School of Rock
Whatever
music one listens to, this is pure fun and an excellent fantasia
on the importance of passion in education and art.
8.
Kill Bill Vol. 1
We
need our popcorn, and this keeps popping for its entire running
time.
9.
The Magdalene Sisters
Everything
an ex-Catholic wants from a film about abusive nuns and repressive
religion.
10.
Seabiscuit
It
has some serious flaws, but, hey, I need something to make
me feel good after The Magdalene Sisters.
Worst
of 2003
1.
The Hulk
The
sudden and ugly decline of a great filmmaker (Ang Lee), this
complete bore features numbingly bad special effects, an awful
central performance, turgid direction and plodding instead
of plotting.
2.
Gods and Generals
A
stupefying, dull, D.O.A. follow-up to the bracing Gettysburg.
3.
Dreamcatcher
To
come down to its own level, the film is a stew of vomit and
diarrhea in which a search for discernable morsels of substance
is ill-advised.
4.
Love Actually
Despite
winning performances from Colin Firth and a couple of others,
this is an insipidly written pabulum that is as insufferable
as Emma Thompson’s performance. Or is that Hillary Clinton?
5.
Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat
Even
worse than the travesty they made of the Grinch; this time
they raped and embalmed Seuss’ most beloved and loopy creation.
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