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When
I was young, I naďvely assumed that since male orgasm was
accompanied by ejaculation, female orgasm must be too. When
I finally asked a friend about “girl come,” I was corrected.
So for years I ignored talk of female ejaculation, just as
I ignore talk of Bigfoot sightings. But now I’ve found myself
wondering if this particular Bigfoot really does exist. There
are so many references to women who ejaculate that it seems
like there must be some truth to it all. And, as a woman who
has difficulty having a truly satisfying orgasm, I’ve started
wondering if maybe I’m holding myself back. Sometimes I’ll
start to feel something similar to a full bladder when I’m
very aroused, and I’m always terrified I’m going to wet the
bed. So what is truth and what is fiction? And if some women
do ejaculate, what is the liquid and where is it coming from?
I know this isn’t exactly your area of expertise and I’m sorry
that I didn’t give you a question where you can imagine Ashton
Kutcher in my place, but you have access to sexperts and I’m
way too embarrassed about this to ask my family doctor.
—Holding
Back in Indiana
First
off, HBII, I am sooooo over Ashton Kutcher. Not only did I
blow off Cheaper by the Dozen and miss the whole last
season of Punk’d, but the rumored-to-be-hot, male-on-male
prison rape scene in Ashton Kutcher’s latest flick, The
Butterfly Effect, couldn’t even tempt me into the theater.
On to your question, HBII: I was once a skeptic like you,
doubtful that female ejaculators really existed. But after
hearing numerous women claim they could ejaculate, I decided
to arrange a live demonstration—live on the radio in Seattle,
but don’t nobody tell Michael Powell—and that’s how, with
my very own eyes, I came to see a girl ejaculate. This particular
female ejaculator could shoot farther than I’ve ever been
able to; I actually had to jump to get out of the way of the
come! And the girl come that went flying past me wasn’t yellow,
and didn’t smell like urine—so what was it?
“Female
ejaculate, like male ejaculate, is prostatic fluid, mixed
with some glucose and trace amounts of urine, minus the sperm,”
says Deborah Sundahl, author of Female Ejaculation and
the G-Spot: Not Your Mother’s Orgasm Book! (Hunter House
Publishers). “The G-Spot is the female prostate, and all women
have a prostate, just as all men do. When stimulated, its
glands create ejaculate fluid. It is clear fluid, rather than
milky white like male ejaculate.”
So when a woman’s is aroused, her G-spot swells with ejaculate
fluid. But what causes it to go flying out of some women’s
bodies? “The muscles surrounding the vagina push out this
fluid during orgasm,” says Sundahl, “or [they] clamp down
[and prevent its] release.” As for that full-bladder feeling
you’ve noticed, HBII, Sundahl believes it’s your very own
girl come. “Your bladder may feel full during sex,” she says,
“but that is ejaculate knocking on your door and it wants
to come out! If you are truly aroused, you will find it difficult
to pee, and very easy to ejaculate—if you let go, trust, and
push out during orgasm. Learning how to do it is easy for
many women, and I’ve been teaching women how to ejaculate
for years. You can get step-by-step information in my book.”
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I am a mid-20s woman relatively new to masturbating. This
morning when I was enjoying my vibrator in the privacy of
my apartment, I thought I was going to come, but instead I
PEED! All over my bed! My partner did some Internet research,
and he claims it is not possible to pee when you’re having
an orgasm. But this was most certainly pee—it was yellow and
smelled like urine. Is this normal? Am I going to pee all
over my partner the next time I come during sex? What’s a
girl to do?
—The
Urinator
A
girl’s to get over it, TU. It’s difficult to pee when you’re
aroused and about to have—or are actually having—an orgasm.
“It’s not impossible that you peed,” says Sundahl, “but it
is more productive at this point to explore the possibility
that you ejaculated. Usually, female ejaculate is clear and
odorless, although at some points during a woman’s monthly
cycle, her ejaculate can smell like urine. Since you were
surprised and shocked, I recommend allowing yourself to ‘pee’
next time you have an orgasm. Then, take an objective look
and smell at your ‘puddle’ to see if it could be ejaculate.”
And thank God for your boyfriend, TU, because he sounds like
a total mensch. “You don’t have to worry about your boyfriend
being offended by your explorations,” says Sundahl about your
situation—unlike some women out there whose boyfriends run
screaming at the sight of girl come. “But once a woman’s male
partner understands her exuberation is female ‘cum’ and not
loss of bladder control,” says Sundahl, “he usually relishes
this ever-so- feminine, wet and wild, orgiastic response.”
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One night after my husband and I engaged in some normal
lovemaking and were enjoying the post-act euphoria, I passed
gas. To my husband’s horror it let out this wet, juicy sound.
While he checked the sheets to see if they needed to be changed,
I informed him that the fart went between the lips of my vagina.
Since I was wet from all the come, both his and mine, it made
a wet noise, but the fart in and of itself was quite dry.
That disgusted my husband even more—and then I made the mistake
of telling him that my farts normally take that path.
My question to you, Dan: Does this happen to other women?
After sex or not? It seems to me that the fart’s path of least
resistance would be through the lips of the vagina, whether
post-coital or not. The butt cheeks may be a closer exit but
why not go the other way around, especially if it’s pre-moistened.
Dan, am I a circus freak or what?
—Forced
Air Ruined the Sheets
Before
anyone writes in to accuse me of being a misogynistic, gynophobic,
woman-hatin’ big gay cocksucker, I’d like to say this in my
defense: I just calmly and coolly entertained two questions
about female ejaculation without cracking a single joke at
the expense of female anatomy. So I hope the Ms. magazine
subscribers out there will forgive me for this: OH MY GOD!
EESH! YUCK! Before the letter from FARTS arrived I had never,
ever contemplated the precise path a woman’s gas takes as
it makes its way from butthole to the ozone layer—and, to
be frank, it’s not something I’m particularly pleased about
having to contemplate now, FARTS. I mean, I get paid a lot
to do this job but I don’t get paid that much.
Still, if there are any women out there who would like to
address this issue, and perhaps let FARTS know that she is
not alone, I will happily do a follow-up column on this subject—not
because this subject interests me, FARTS, but because it will,
without a doubt, have my readers begging me to start writing
columns about santorum again instead.
Oh, speaking of santorum: www.spreadingsantorum.com
is now the No. 1 result when you search “santorum” on Google!
mail@savagelove.net
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