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Born
Again
What
with Easter coming up, and all the hubbub about Gibson’s Jesus
Christ: Beyond Thunderdome, I’ve got resurrection on my
mind.
I’m not a Christian and I didn’t see the movie, so it’s more
amateur philosophizing than any kind of theological investment;
but however daydreamy it may be, it’s sincere. See, I’ve undertaken
a vision quest and it’s had interesting results. Though I
don’t think I’ve been fully reborn as a more highly evolved
being, I’m making progress. My mystical experience hews pretty
closely to traditional accounts of spiritual re-creation,
but I contend that religion is more-or-less based on plagiarism
(Osiris, this is Jesus; Jesus, meet Osiris), so I feel like
I’m in pretty good company. That being said, I’ll allow that
my own journey was pretty heavily informed by two books, The
Hero With a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell, and Meditations
by Shakti Gawain. And, in all honesty, I probably owe
a shout-out to sleepiness and Cockatoo Ridge shiraz, too.
I’d been reading Campbell’s masterwork of comparative mythology
on and off, and slowly because I was actually taking notes.
And it seemed to have been settling in: I think the process
was actually opening my mind, in the sense that I was becoming
more, colloquially speaking, open-minded. I am geared toward
skepticism, but Campbell’s work is so comprehensive and so
plain-spoken as to present an acceptance of all cosmological
approaches as a fait accompli: Whammo, instant universal tolerance.
I was in a receiving mode.
So, when Meditations arrived at my office, I looked
more kindly upon it than previously I might have. In part,
it’s true, it was because I assumed the slender volume to
have been penned by an Indian, and expected, in narrow Western
prejudice, it to contain one-hand-clapping-style mindbenders.
But that I didn’t chuck it instantly when I discovered it
was written by a Western woman and consisted of relaxation
techniques and guided visualizations shows how far I’d already
progressed. Right?
Random annoyances forced me to quit Campbell’s book for a
while, and further softened my reserve against New Age self-help
techniques. Relaxation rituals were suddenly enticing. And
I guess I figured, “If enlightenment’s the price I gotta pay
for a decent night’s sleep, I’m willing to risk it.”
So, I cracked the Meditations and found the exercise
I deemed least witchy. Basically, it’s a muscle-contraction-and-release
procedure coupled with a waking-dream scheme in which you
imagine somebody showing up to tell you how to live your life.
The get-lazy-and-stay-lazy aspect appealed to me instantly;
as did Gawain’s pointer that your guide could be anything
from your spirit animal (I’m not taking advice from something
lower on the food chain than me, thank you) to your Grandpa.
I liked that: I pictured some crusty old Yankee in flannel;
Robert Frost as shaman.
And, in a way, it worked like a charm. For consecutive nights
I fell asleep within 20 minutes of hitting the sack and slept
like a rock, as had been my goal. So, it’s funny how ripped-off
I started to feel. Where’s my freaking spirit guide? I’m well-rested,
but what about, you know, the answers? I resigned myself
to giving in fully, calling a spade a Goddess-blesséd spade,
and actually meditating.
So, one evening well before bedtime, lights dimmed, candles
lit, wine poured, I went off to meet my mythic mentor (who,
certainly, is no teetotaler). I pictured myself rowing a kayak,
which is awfully relaxing. Slowly, though, it dawned on me
that I had imagined myself in too small a boat. I’m the only
person for miles. I’m putting myself in danger of a spirit
fish. I had to visualize a land mass, pronto. Done. A mist-shrouded
isle on the near horizon. I beached, and headed inland into
the woods. My controlling mind yelling at me, “You should
have landed closer to a coffee shop. We’re in the middle of
nowhere!” Accordingly, the woods opened up around a
small, spring-fed pool, beside which a young Indian woman
sat on a stone garden bench, writing in a journal.
“Is
this water good to drink?” I asked.
Without a word, she lifted a battered tin camp cup and doused
me with the contents. Then she handed me the empty cup, with
which I dived into the pool.
How cool is that?
The vision then just sort of fell apart. But it was amusing,
and I was as relaxed as ever, even invigorated. I poured another
glass of wine, and pulled Campbell’s book out from beneath
a pile of more-easily glossed books. I found where I had left
off by following the underlined passages, and began reading
about Actaeon:
After a heavy morning of hunting, Actaeon’s companions wanted
to rest, but Actaeon himself ventured out into unknown parts
of the forest. Beside a pool, he viewed a nude female bathing,
the goddess Diana. Furious at being so beheld by a mortal,
Diana reached for her bow, but it was beyond her; instead
she cast water on him, transforming him into a stag. He fled
from the goddess’ anger, only to be scented by his own dogs,
tracked by his own friends and slaughtered back in the known
parts of the forest.
Whoa. I hadn’t read the book at all in two months and I didn’t
remember reading that passage at all, so the coincidence of
it all freaked me out. The fact that Campbell then goes immediately
on to discuss Kali, the Indian destroyer-goddess, who resides
beside a pool in the woods on an island nearly gave me a heart
attack—however obvious the rational explanation.
I haven’t quite worked up the nerve to give it another shot.
On the one hand, I’m optimistic that I wasn’t turned into
venison; but, really, I’m a little concerned about how I’m
going to come out of that pool—plus, I’m out of wine.
But we usually have some on Easter, so I’m hoping to get my
sequel out before Mel’s.
—John
Rodat
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