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Please
help me. My husband gets
off on the voyeur thing. It started out with him watching
me and masturbating while I was unaware of his presence. Soon
I was wearing daisy dukes at the door (about to come myself!)
and writing out a check for the pizza delivery guy while my
husband hid. I’ve also accepted room service at a hotel wearing
just a thong, after being fucked half-senseless by my husband,
while he hid. I have to admit that since I started indulging
him in the voyeur thing our sex has been hot hot hot.
I’ve been amply rewarded for being GGG.
But I’m starting to freak out. If I’m not home, he will park
the car away from our house, get naked, and hide. I’ve played
along, realizing he was home and getting off. But now sometimes
I get creeped out when I’m home alone because I’m not sure
if I’m actually alone. We’ve talked about how we can play
around with this fetish—a sexual interest that does not seem
to be going away—in a way that allows me to feel safe. While
I was happy to do it once, I don’t want to act all slutty
in front of all the random pizza delivery guys in town. I
don’t want all the pizza guys to think there’s this hot bitch
just waiting to fuck them at our house. And can’t we get kicked
out of a hotel for harassment, or even arrested, if the “fantasy
bell boy” is not amused? I want to indulge my husband, but
how do we go about this without endangering ourselves or getting
arrested? Plus will it ever be enough or am I sliding down
a slippery slope? Will we ever get back to the basics?
—Where’s
My Husband?
I’m
glad you took my advice, WMH, and that you were GGG for your
husband (that’s “good, giving, and game” for anyone just tuning
in). I’m extremely distressed, however, that your kinky husband,
once you began indulging him, opted to act like a selfish,
demanding, inconsiderate fuckwit of a fetishist instead of
the grateful husband you had every right to expect. Here’s
what he doesn’t seem to understand: A wife who will indulge
her husband in an extreme fetish is a rare treasure, a jewel,
and any husband who abuses a treasure like you, WMH, by pushing
her too far, too fast, or neglecting the basics, deserves
to lose that treasure.
While it sounds like you’ve been enjoying the voyeur thing
too—I believe you mentioned some hot, hot,
hot sex—it’s time to inform your husband, if you haven’t
already, that you’re dangerously close to going sour on his
fantasies. Your husband can’t ask you to indulge his voyeur
thing in ways that make you feel unsafe or put you at risk
of being sexually assaulted by all the pizza guys in town.
Nor can he neglect the basics. So slam on the brakes, MMH.
Tell your husband that the voyeur thing is on hold until you
two come to terms about where, how, and how often you’ll indulge
him.
I have some suggestions, but first I’d like to directly address
your husband: You are a fucking dumb asshole, do you know
that? It’s shitbrained freaks like you who ruin it for all
the other kinky straight men out there! The number-one reason
cited by women who are reluctant to indulge their male partners’
kinks is the fear that they’re stepping onto a slippery slope.
They worry that their husbands and boyfriends, once indulged,
will be unwilling or unable to enjoy plain ol’ vanilla sex
ever again—AKA “the basics.” Kinky guys who are lucky enough
to find themselves dating or married to GGG women should be
considerate, loving, and non-basics-neglecting, so that their
wives and girlfriends will talk up the benefits of being GGG
to their female friends, thereby increasing the supply of
GGG women in the world. When a kinky guy acts like you, fuckhead,
it decreases the number of GGG women in the world! Christ!
Okay, WMH, back to you: You shouldn’t go to your own door
in daisy dukes or thongs—that’s what hotel-room doors are
for. No one has ever been arrested for opening her hotel-room
door in her underwear (it’s technically a bedroom, right?),
so hotels are an excellent option for indulging your husband’s
more extreme fantasies. Most bellmen can’t be shocked, and
if you tip ’em well they won’t care what you’re wearing. As
for the home games, your husband has to stop hiding without
warning you first. It simply isn’t fair for him to ask you
to always feel uncomfortable when you’re alone in your own
home. And as for the basics? A good rule of thumb for the
indulged fetishist is three basic sessions for every fetish
session. If he’ll agree to all that, tell him the voyeur thing
is back on. If he won’t, well, tell him he’s fucked himself
out of a very good deal.
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Here’s my issue. My fetish/fantasy involves my girlfriend
coming home from a long day at work, kicking off her shoes,
putting her stockinged feet on my lap, and demanding a foot
massage. She can watch TV, she can read the newspaper while
I do this, whatever. More often than not, I am turned down
by the girl. “My feet are too sweaty.” “I’m ticklish.” “Are
you crazy?” Is my fetish such a horrible thing? It’s not like
I’m asking to lick their feet! I don’t want to be naked and
collared. I just want to give a massage.
I was thinking about taking out an ad in the personals. Two
problems: If I mention my mild fetish in my ad, I might come
off sounding like a weird foot guy. If I don’t mention it,
I might meet a great girl who hates having her feet rubbed.
I can’t just erase this fantasy in my head. A breast guy couldn’t
date a flat-chested girl, nor could a girl who loves a man
with a thick head of hair date a bald guy. Am I horrible for
judging a potential girlfriend on the basis of whether or
not she likes foot massages?
—Foot-Massage
Freak
Of
course not, FMF. If you can’t judge your lovers by their willingness
to meet your sexual needs, what fucking standard can you judge
them by? And as fetishes go, a thing for being ordered to
massage a woman’s feet hardly registers on the freak-o-meter
at all. Continue to be upfront and honest, FMF, and sooner
or later you’ll meet a woman who’s either GGG on the compulsory
foot-massage issue, or actually enjoys having her feet rubbed.
And just in case WMH’s husband is still reading this, I’d
like to point out that FMF has assholes like you to thank
for the difficult time he’s been having. No doubt some of
the women FMF shared his fetish with have heard horror stories
from women like WMH, i.e., women who indulged kinky boyfriends
or husbands and watched them turn into monsters. Some of the
women FMF shared his fetish with may worry that, like your
wife, they may find themselves sliding down a slippery slope
if they order him to massage their feet. Again, it’s selfish
fetishists like you who ruin it for everybody. I hope you
can sleep at night.
mail@savagelove.net
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