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It Ain’t No Macarena

Wedding band leader J Yager reflects o+n the tricks of his trade

By Josh Potter

Of all the seemingly endless arrangements a couple has to make for their big day—writing vows, sending out invitations, renting space, picking out the flowers, dresses, tuxedos—there’s one that has the cruel power to either destroy the wedding or make it a celebration the couple will recall with fondness for years thereafter. Stress as they might, there’s a certain point at which the bride, groom and family must surrender control of the day to someone they’ve entrusted to either help the party unwind or get down. More than the minister, best man, maid of honor, ring bearer or photographer, it is the wedding band that wields this peculiar power.

Yes, this realization may be more than a little bit frightening.

“More often than not, when people use the term ‘wedding band,’ they’re using it in a derogatory manner,” says J Yager, frontman and bandleader for the Audiostars, and formerly of the Burners UK. Over the past 25 years, Yager wagers he’s played at least 300 weddings throughout the region, knocking out 15 to 25 per year. Needless to say, he’s come to learn what people expect of a wedding band and what elements make a wedding reception enjoyable—despite the stigma that accompanies such an act.

“Whether it’s a musician or a client, to them a wedding band is the cheesy kind of stereotypical wedding band that Adam Sandler went on to be the singer for in The Wedding Singer,” he says. “It’s a band that is very cookie-cutter, kind of bland, cheesy, lifeless and soulless. They may have great musicians in them, but the problem with wedding bands—that is, bands that are formulated specifically to play weddings—if you’re not playing what you love, just what you think is going to make you money, like any job of any type, there’s no soul in it. Without soul, music doesn’t live because music is entirely soul—and a few notes.”

In order to avoid becoming this stereotype, Yager did a very simple thing. “We never aimed to be a wedding band. We aimed to be a band that’s fun. I just happen to like playing cover songs, stuff that, as it turns out, other people like to listen to. It was a function of doing what I love and playing what I love that people said, ‘Geez, that’s exactly what we’d like to have at our wedding. Would you play our wedding?’ ”

Therein lies the trick to Yager’s trade. He says the most important thing for a wedding band to be is themselves. If the band’s feeling loose and having fun, the party will follow suit. “At a wedding,” he says, “people have been without food and beverage for seven or eight hours, and [at the reception] they’re just starting to relax. You have to remember, it’s OK to say, ‘Hey, relax. It’s OK to have fun.’ The hard part of the day is over.”

Some of the first weddings Yager played were for friends who said they didn’t want a band that played cliché favorites like “Celebration,” “YMCA” and “The Macarena,” so, while his band’s catalog includes a lengthy selection of party hits, he downplays the significance of the songs in favor of the event’s overall energy. “Every wedding is totally different. You never know what the parameters are going to be. It might start raining when it was supposed to be a sunny day. You might be in a tent and people are freezing. Someone might have passed out before cocktails were served and that’s all the buzz. Songs are an important part, but so is energy, personality, interaction with the crowd, the ability to read what’s happening in a room and react to it and build upon it.”

So, what does a good wedding party look like? “The best ones are the ones that have been completely what nobody expects them to be,” says Yager. He cites a day 10 years ago in Round Lake when the temperature dipped to 44 degrees and the wall-less tent was flooded with rain. “People were having such a good time they ripped off their shoes, took off their clothes, and began doing mud slides—literally, throwing themselves down the middle of the tent like a kid’s slip and slide—writhing around. It wrecked everybody’s clothes. Destroyed the bride’s dress. But it was probably the best wedding we ever played. People still talk about it to this day.” When people let go of their ideal notion of the wedding, he says, they tend to have the best time.

As for the weirdest wedding, Yager recalls a reception at a small banquet house where 100 people were packed into a room that should have fit only 60. For the most part, the event was a success, as partygoers began dancing on tables and out in the driveway. But, “at the end of it, the bride came up to me and, for 20 minutes, stood two inches from my face, screaming in absolute tears about how I had ruined her wedding. All the guests were mortified, standing around her, trying to slip out the door quietly, giving these apologetic looks. I thought she was kidding for the first couple minutes before realizing she wasn’t.”

The bride’s intoxicated mother soon joined her daughter while Yager did his best to bite his tongue. “The funniest part of the whole deal was when the mother said, ‘You’re the worst country band I’ve ever heard!’ To which I said, ‘We don’t even play country music.’ She said, ‘I know!’ ” Two weeks later, he received an apologetic phone call from the maid of honor, who had hired the band, explaining that the bride had been on multiple fertility drugs, which, she said, made her insane. Furthermore, as of that day, she also told him, the marriage had been annulled due to the groom’s sudden sex-change operation.

Over the years, Yager says he’s made the mistake of trying too hard to anticipate what a wedding party is going to be like, but, despite the stereotypically staid, generic events that give wedding bands their bad name, he’s learned there’s only rule for the gig: “You never know what’s going to happen.”

 

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