|
 Do
(Some of) It Yourself
If
you’re the DIY type, you might want to pick and choose where
to cut corners on your wedding
By
Amy Halloran
The
expense of weddings drives many to consider the do-it-yourself
package. Someone has a barn, someone plays a fiddle, and grandma
makes picture-perfect cakes—why not let your friends and family
invent your wedding day?
The
problem is right there in black and white. Your wedding
could easily become the victim of too many good ideas and
intentions. Sure, talent surrounds you, but Sonya’s gargantuan
centerpieces could clash with Cindy’s control-freak potluck
buffet. Plus, unless you are in theater and have a stage manager
who isn’t close enough to you to be a bridesmaid or the best
man, it is tough to orchestrate such a large performance without
professional help. How do I know this? From experience, the
best teacher.
For every large family occasion that arises, I want to do
it myself. Given my history in the restaurant biz, and my
income as a writer of the nonwealthy kind, this makes sense.
I wrack my brain trying to find a facility, indoors or out,
that fits the event—big birthdays, my parents’ anniversary,
a local party for my brother’s out-of-state wedding—and try
to think of some way to get out of spending $50 to $100 a
head for food, booze and cake. Sure, I’ve managed to save
some money, but I’ve also missed being present as a participant
at these celebrations. Last summer, when I cooked for a good
pal’s wedding, I was too busy with the jambalaya to see the
actual nuptials.
But that doesn’t mean I’d advocate paying for everything from
appetizer service to gift stackers. There are ways you can
DIY pieces of a wedding and reception and still enjoy the
occasion of your marriage. You will be demanding a lot of
yourself and your future spouse at a very stressful time.
(In case you didn’t notice that getting married was tough,
bear in mind my cousin’s resolution this year. She’s getting
married in June and vowed to not become Bridezilla.)
Think really hard about where you can cut corners. Sure, everyone
has a digital camera or camera in their phone, and your Uncle
Fred is a real photography enthusiast, but that doesn’t mean
your friends and relatives will capture your day how you want
to remember it. You don’t want to wait 10 years to get a photo
album, or, once you get that album, keep flipping through
images, searching for a shot of Aunt Mary before she had her
stroke.
Instead, think of ways you might barter for the photographer
who got your sister’s wedding just right. Maybe you’re a landscaper.
Could be the photographer has a yard. Or hunt for a photographer
whose work you really love and try to find a package that
will fit in your budget. Either way, if you ask family to
do something, from calligraphy to corsages, bear in mind that
the people that you love are not necessarily going to do what
you want them to, and you could end up with flourishy dragons
on your envelopes or plastic cupid spears adorning the carnations
of your corsages.
Back to that stage-manager type. Who will be yours? Dedicate
someone to think about the favors, the seating arrangements
during the ceremony and afterwards, where the empty champagne
bottles go—all the details that can really get in the way
of a good time. If you’re renting silverware, you don’t want
a good-natured guest to stow it all in a thick green trash
bag that could be mistaken for actual trash. In fact, the
fewer people you are paying to set up and decorate the site,
and serve food and drinks, the more coordinators you should
crown for the kingdom of your wedding party.
People pay professionals to do essential tasks, not just stand
around. So assign, assign, assign. Make your Cake Captain
in charge of the cake station and get your Beverage Steward
to hire a bartender. Have both of them create checklists for
their duties a month in advance of the day, and do rehearsals
with all your helpers. Otherwise, you could end up with the
$600 cake flopping off a faulty table, or someone running
to the nearest Stewart’s for disposable plates. If you’re
going to make tables from doors and sawhorses, make sure you
have enough supplies for the guest list.
If this sounds paranoid, you haven’t watched enough episodes
of America’s Funniest Home Videos. Envisioning the
worst-case scenario can be very effective planning. If, for
instance, you’re getting married in your parents’ backyard,
rent a tent from people who will not let anyone but their
workers install it. Think of the money as a good-luck insurance
policy for the marriage that will follow the ceremony. Whatever
you do, don’t let your father string a tarp from your childhood
bedroom window to the oak tree with the questionable trunk.
You don’t want the day to end, or begin, in the emergency
room.
Cough up the cash for real goods and services and relax. Isn’t
there enough pressure without feeling obliged to do it all
yourself? On the other hand, the Internet is just chockablock
with DIY tutorials, and there are quite a few crafty things
you can make from pipe cleaners and doilies . . .
>>
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