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Hibernation
101
I
don’t know how they do it in Maine or Minnesota or Wisconsin.
I don’t know how the people who live in Chicago do it. Deal
with winter, that is.
I made an ill-timed visit to Quebec City in the dead of winter
many years ago. My room at the splendid Chateau Frontenac
was standard-issue, not at all up to par with the rest of
the building. But the way I saw it was that we wouldn’t be
spending much time there.
I was wrong. I don’t think I made more than a couple forays
into the brutal cold. If there are good restaurants in Quebec,
I wouldn’t know. If there is culture, if it wasn’t on TV,
I didn’t see it. Shopping? Forget it.
I know: We’re just in the middle of a cold snap. A cold snap
with a hell of a lot of snow. This, too, shall pass. Or rather,
melt.
But in the meantime, we need a game plan to get through the
days. We need supplies, diversions and comfort food. This
is not the time to diet.
For starters you need to stake out a spot where you won’t
notice the winter too much. This means it’s best not to face
any windows. My spot is in a room with a lot of windows, but
I keep my back to them. This does mean I get some glare on
my computer screen, but I’ve learned to deal with that.
Personally, I don’t think your spot should be in your bedroom
because that will make you feel that you’re really sick rather
than just a hapless victim of Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Once you’ve got your spot picked out, you know you can return
to it whenever you come indoors, whether you’ve been out at
work, out shoveling, out buying groceries. Your spot will
not disappoint you.
While there, you’ll need something to snuggle under. Actually,
layers of things to snuggle under are nice. A down comforter
and a wool blanket. A chenille bathrobe and an old quilt.
A Snuggie and an afghan. The combinations are limitless. I
used a horsehair buggy blanket I bought last summer at a house
sale (thinking I’d never use anything that heavy) and a shawl.
Just like grandma.
You’ll need comfort foods, of course. This means, unless you
have a personal chef, that you will have to leave your spot
and enter the kitchen. That’s not so bad, though, because
you can crank up the oven and in no time flat the room will
be warm.
Chili is, of course, the all-time favorite cold weather food.
Chili and hot chocolate, though not together. Macaroni and
cheese. Chicken soup. But don’t be too boring. Expand your
repertoire of comfort foods—there’s still a lot of winter
ahead of us. Cook up a pot of kale and linguica soup. Make
a blanquette de veau (you can make it with chicken) and serve
it over buttermilk-mashed potatoes. Or make something that
reminds you of summer. Pesto, for example. Last night I made
a salsa of pineapple, avocado, sweet onion and parsley and
served it with spice-rubbed pork tenderloin. I could almost
smell the citronella candles.
Once you’ve got your plate or bowl and a glass of wine or
a big mug of chai, settle back into your spot and prepare
for your diversions. Yes, you were diverted last week by President
Obama’s speech at GE. And yes, watching the Steelers pull
a Lance Armstrong over the Jets was diverting. And President
Obama’s State of the Union address kept your mind occupied,
too.
But the best diversions are ones that don’t require too much
thinking, nail-biting, cheering or groaning. The best diversions
are ones that don’t necessarily enrich your mind all that
much—except that reading The Dictionary of Cultural Literacy
is both educational and easy because the entries are so
short. Forgot who Hephaestus was? How many theses did Martin
Luther nail to the church door at Wittenberg? And what’s Mendelian
inheritance again? In no time, you’ll have a basic grasp of
the facts of the matter.
But let’s face it: there’s no substitute for the mind-numbing
comfort of television re-runs. If you’re like me and rarely
watch TV at all, now is the time to catch up on all the dramas
and the comedies that everybody talks about at cocktail parties
and family gatherings. Just think—by the time winter ends,
you, too, will be able to dish about the Kardashians and trade
plot lines from Glee.
So good luck. And stay warm.
—Jo
Page
jopage34@yahoo.com
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