|
I’m
a straight male who wants to suck some cock. I don’t want
anything else, just to suck someone else’s dick. I want this
to be very discreet, and absolutely safe. I don’t want anyone
to know I did this, and I also don’t want any diseases. Any
suggestions?
—Wanna
Be Cock Sucker
Like
all straight guys who wanna suck a little cock (and there
seem to be a ton of you out there), you want two big things
(besides cock): safety and discretion. Unfortunately for straight
male cocksuckers like you, WBCS, discreet blowjobs often aren’t
safe, and safe blowjobs aren’t usually discreet. Try to keep
up: The most discreet blowjobs are the anonymous ones given
in sex clubs, parks, toilets and other notorious sleaze pits.
Give a blowjob under a bush in the middle of the night and
your friends probably won’t find out about it. Unfortunately,
the men you meet under bushes tend to be sleaze pits themselves
and most will be carrying at least one STD. The safest blowjobs,
on the other hand, are the ones you give to someone you know
and trust and have been dating for at least a few months.
Unfortunately, dating isn’t very discreet. Your friends may
meet him, or see you two together, and suspect something.
So before you can choose a course of action, WBCS, you have
to decide which is more important to you: Safety? Or discretion?
If you’re like most straight male wannabe-cocksuckers, discretion
is of more important. Most STDs can be cured or endured, but
getting caught with a dick in your mouth forever makes you
a fag in the eyes of your friends and family.
Which brings us, in a roundabout way, to David.
“The
first thing I would urge WBCS to do is CALL ME,” said David,
an escort/bodyworker in Seattle, Wash., when I shared your
letter with him. David has come to the aide of a lot of straight
men in your predicament. (You can check David out by visiting
his Web site, davidinseattle.com.) “If he’s really concerned
about anonymity and discretion, the most obvious option is
to call an escort or a bodyworker.” I don’t have any proof,
but I have a hunch that an upscale male escort charging $250
an hour is less likely to have an STD than your average skank
under a bush giving it away for free. To find an upscale escort,
David recommends www.male4malescorts.com, a Web site that
offers explicit reviews (good and bad) of male escorts all
over the world. “Once you find an escort attached to the cock
you want to suck,” David continued, “book an appointment.”
And what about those pesky STDs?
“Don’t
be afraid to inquire about [your escort’s] HIV status,” David
said. You should also ask your escort about other STDs he
might have, like herpes, hepatitis, syphilis or gonorrhea—all
of which can be transmitted through oral sex. “Look him in
the eye, and when he gives you his answer you gotta listen
to that little voice in the back of your head. If he says
he’s clean and you believe him, get down on your knees. On
the other hand, If you don’t believe him and he gives you
the creeps, pay him for his time and get the hell out.”
So you asked your escort if he was clean, you looked him in
the eye, and he seemed to be telling the truth. . . but what
if he’s not? Well, that’s a risk you’ll have to take, if you
wanna suck cock discretely.
I am a straight guy who’s curious about men. I’ve had enough
blowjobs to know good from bad, and I’m sure I’ll suck a mean
cock. My concern is buttfucking. Or, rather, getting buttfucked.
Can you offer any tricks to help us “straight” guys out? Yeah,
I know that if I am sucking cock and getting buttfucked, it
sort of compromises my “straight” status, but we live in a
democracy, don’t we?
—How
to Serve Men
“First
off, George W. Bush is our president,” said David, “so we
don’t live in a democracy. Secondly, cock sucking is an art,
and can only be learned by doing it—a lot of it. Just because
you’ve had your share doesn’t mean you’ll be good.”
Setting aside blowjobs, what does David recommend you do to
get your ass in gear?
“Get
to know your asshole,” said David. “Lube up your fingers and
work them around until you can get at least three digits inside.
Then pull up your pants and go visit a sex shop and purchase
a moderately sized dildo.” David suggests that you practice
with your dildo until you start to enjoy it. “Then you’re
ready for the real thing. Always use a condom and don’t let
someone cum inside of you, even with a condom on. I’m one
of those rare gay guys who doesn’t enjoy a cock up my ass,
so the rest of my advice is not from personal experience but
from what friends have told me: Make sure you’re both good
and lubed up. Make sure he goes really slow. Breathe and relax.”
 |
I was dating this girl for about a year when at some point
I finally admitted that, as much as I loved her, I also found
guys attractive on some levels. I’m sure I will never get
penetrated unless I am sedated or something, because I just
feel like I won’t like it, so I don’t feel like I’m a totally
gay person. But now I have friend that I’m not sure if he’s
gay or not. Everyone seems to think he is, and I do too. but
I am not sure. I really really like him, and he likes me a
lot too, and I’m not sure what to do? Every time he looks
at me, I wish I could tell him about my homo feelings for
him, but I’m afraid we won’t be friends anymore. What can
I do to let him know without actually saying anything? I want
him to get the idea that I’m into him without freaking him
out. He has been to my house many times, and he spends the
night, but I don’t know what to do next.
—Mostly
Straight Boy
If
you’re attracted to this guy, MSB, and you think he might
be attracted to you, there’s only one way to move the ball
down the field: Make that pass, kiddo. If he’s spending the
night at your place, and if all your friends think he’s gay
(and it’s not just wishful thinking on your part), then he
probably is gay. So tell him you’re into him, or, if you want
to tell him without saying anything, lay a kiss on him the
next time he sleeps over. Either way, you risk losing his
friendship if it turns out he’s not gay. But it’s a risk you’re
going to have to take.
Finally, MSB, you sound like a full-blown homo to me. Yes,
yes: You loved a girl once. So did I. Finding the odd girl
attractive and even managing to fuck a few of ’em doesn’t
make you straight. Nor does finding the idea or of being penetrated
repulsive—I mean, look at David. He’s as gay as they come
and he doesn’t take it up the ass. Being gay isn’t about being
penetrated, it’s about who you fall in love with, and it sounds
like you’ve fallen in love with a guy. Maybe he’s the exception,
but somehow I doubt it. Don’t you?
mail@savagelove.net
|
Columns
& Opinions
