really need some insight from someone I don’t have to look
in the face! I’m a young actor who is trying to get some info
on the behind-the-scenes etiquette of filming a sex scene.
(Cable-series sex, not adult-movie sex.) I’ve done theater
and some extra work in film but up till now I’ve never done
sex/nudity. However, the time has come: I’m in a real sex
scene and I’m not sure how to conduct myself on the set! I’d
like to go in with some knowledge of common courtesies. Are
there established guidelines for this? How do I find out what
is or isn’t okay to say, do, touch, look at, get close to
or linger around? Please tell me that somewhere in your travels
you’ve met someone, read something, or know of a book that
will answer these kinds of questions!
the nerves out of the way right away,” suggests actor and
director John Cameron Mitchell. “Say, ‘I’ve never done this
before.’ Then get comfortable and try to become quick buddies.
And you might as well make out a little before the filming
starts since you’re going to be making out for the next 12
Mitchell has been a professional actor for twenty years and
he knows more than most about filming sex scenes, having made
out before the cameras with numerous women (see Girl Six,
Book of Love) and the occasional man (see Hedwig and
the Angry Inch, which he wrote, directed and starred in).
One of the most important things you can do, according to
Mitchell, is to take control of the scene. “Make it a conspiracy
among the actors,” Mitchell says. “Tell the director what
you want. Do you need some time alone on the set? A cleared
set? Make demands.”
As for the common courtesies, Mitchell suggests you bathe,
brush, and floss. “But don’t floss right before filming,”
he warned, “because you don’t want your gums to be bleeding.”
(For the record: “Bathe, brush and floss before work” is good
advice regardless of what you do for a living.)
One quibble with your letter, TV-MA: You’ve been hired to
do a sex scene in a film, not have “real sex.” American movies
don’t show “real” sex, only simulated sex—not at least until
John Cameron Mitchell’s next film comes out. Mitchell is currently
casting his next movie, a film that will show real actors
having real, non-simulated sex. “I want to make a film that
uses real sex but that is also a real film—narratively, emotionally,”
Mitchell says. “The French are doing it,” in movies like Baise-Moi
and instead, Romance, “but it’s de-eroticized and pretentious.
In other words, French. So why are Americans, and American
filmmakers, so afraid of sex? They’re doing it in Europe.
Why can’t we do it here?”
Making an actual film in America that includes scenes of real
sex is tough—even for a successful filmmaker like Mitchell.
“Agents aren’t interested in helping us with the casting,”
says Mitchell, “and actors are afraid for their careers.”
So to cast his new movie, Mitchell is doing a high-tech open
call. “We’re asking people to make a video in which they discuss
an important sexual event in their lives,” Mitchell says.
He’s looking for actors, gay and straight, “who are unique
and sexy in non-traditional ways. No gym insanity and no ‘television
pretty,’ please.” For more information about Mitchell’s new
film, the casting process, and where to send your tape, go
to Mitchell’s Web site, thesexfilm project.com. The deadline
for getting a tape to Mitchell is Feb. 15.
Hey, Dan! I’m an actor in New York
and I’m interested in developing a theatre piece that explores
the world of fetishes. Would you please ask your readers to
send in detailed descriptions of kinky stuff that turns them
on? Age, sex, and first recollection of getting off with their
particular kink would be appreciated. I would also enjoy hearing
stories from people who own, work the door, handle security,
or clean up at fetish clubs. Friends or family members of
fetishists, people who have been struggling to give up their
fetish for whatever reason, and stories of fetish scenes gone
wrong are all welcome. Thanks!
Here we are, only three weeks into the new year and I’ve already
done two good deeds. You’re welcome, Mark.
I am hanging out at a friend’s house
and he is asleep. I just logged on to his computer to download
some music, and I discovered that someone has been downloading
child porn on this computer. It has to be my friend—he’s (usually)
the only one who uses this computer and he’s on it all the
time. I don’t want to make him uncomfortable and jeopardize
our friendship by confronting him about it—he’s my oldest
friend—but kiddie porn is pretty serious. If it is him checking
out the baby bangin’, is there a tactful way I can encourage
him to get help before he turns from downloading these sick
movies to making them? As his closest friend, is it better
for me to forget what I saw?
The Keyboard Is Not Sticky
will ultimately be worse for your friend, GTKINS: Knowing
that you know? Or knowing that everyone he knows knows after
he gets busted for downloading and storing child porn on his
computer? Downloading kiddie porn is not only a fucking immoral
thing to do (consuming kiddie porn creates demand for kiddie
porn which results in more kiddie porn being produced and
more kiddie porn being made means more kiddies being sexually
abused, exploited and raped), it’s also a fucking stupid thing
to do. You can’t pick up a newspaper without reading about
kiddie porn rings and kiddie porn “consumers” getting hauled
off to jail.
So, GTKINS, here’s what you need to
do: March your ass into your buddy’s apartment and hand him
the picture of Pete Townshend sitting in the back of a police
car as investigators carry his personal computers out of his
house. Then tell your buddy what you saw and insist that he
A) get help, and B) get a baseball bat. He needs the help
so that he never, ever acts on his attraction to young kids;
he needs the baseball bat so that he can smash his computer—which
could be used as evidence against him—into a hundred thousand
pieces. This is very serious business, GTKINS, and your friend
needs help before he destroys his own life or he destroys
the life of some poor kid.
that you are the expert on all things Ashton Kutcher, do you
recommend Just Married (and no, not just for the fact
that you get to see Ashton shirtless in bed)? Should I spend
the money to see the film?
of kiddie porn. . . .
I’m proud to say that I helped make Just Married the
no. 1 movie in America the weekend it opened. However, I cannot
recommend that you shell out your hard-earned money to see
this movie, regardless of the beauty of Mr. Kutcher. Instead
of rushing out and seeing Just Married (which is just
awful), I recommend that you wait until the film is available
on DVD, so that you can watch it with the sound off. In the
meantime, you can make do with a copy of last month’s Teen
People Magazine, which featured a large pull-out poster
of Ashton Kutcher in a damp tanktop.