find applying stinging nettles to my body highly pleasurable.
I’ve tried the Web for more information but either get herbalist
pages or, when searching the words “nettles” and “fetish”
together, I get directed to SM-type pages. I don’t really
go for that. Can you direct me somewhere where I can get advice?
Are there any long-term dangers in exposing my “delicate areas”
to the little green temptresses?
Twisted Into Nettle Games
the reason you find the “stinging nettles” kink primarily
on SM Web sites, STING, is because stinging nettles hurt like
Second, Tracy Mehlin at the Center for Urban Horticulture
at the University of Washington was kind enough not to slam
the phone down when I read her your question, perhaps because
she once knew a guy on a farm who occasionally lashed himself
with stinging nettles. “I didn’t ask him to go into the details
about why he did it,” said Tracy, “but there are some people
who enjoy the effect.” An hour later Tracy faxed me some additional
info about the effect, which doesn’t sound very enjoyable
to me: The leaves and stems of stinging nettle are covered
with tiny hollow hairs. When a person comes in contact with
the plant, the tips of the hairs break off, stick in the person’s
skin, and then, like a lot of little hypodermic needles, pump
in a venom that makes the skin itch, swell, tingle and burn
As it turns out, STING, you’re not the first person to expose
his “delicate areas” to stinging nettles. The Romans thrashed
men “below the navel,” according to Rodale’s Encyclopedia
of Herbs, to improve virility. (Did Roman women object to
being fucked by guys whose dicks were covered with tiny hairs
full of venom? Alas, the men who wrote the history books didn’t
record their opinions.) And while occasional contact with
stinging nettles—even below the navel—won’t do you any lasting
harm, “massive or repeated contact” with stinging nettles
isn’t advisable. So like all good vices—booze, boys, bacon—stinging
nettles should be enjoyed in moderation.
am a 20-year-old male who has a fetish that other people just
don’t understand. I’ve had it since I was 3 or 4. It turns
me on when I hear or smell women’s farts. I am not looking
to have sexual intercourse with anyone until I am married,
I’m just looking to snuggle up to a woman’s rear end while
she passes gas. The problem is that I don’t know how to talk
to women about my fetish so that they will consent to it and
not come to see me as a disgusting monster.
Are Rare Treats
For those who think this is disgusting, think about this:
Isn’t regular, oral or anal sex disgusting too? Huh?
You can catch STDs from them as opposed to my fetish, which
is perfectly harmless. WAKE UP, PEOPLE!
Thanks, FART, you’ve really opened my eyes. All this time
I’ve been enjoying regular, oral, and anal sex, risking STDs
and broken hearts and God knows what else, when I could’ve
been snugglin’ butts and huffin’ farts. What was I thinking?
Sorry, kiddo, people do understand your fetish. They just
think it’s gross—which is not the same thing as failing to
understand it. And while it sucks to be burdened with a fetish
that most people find disgusting—it’s not like you chose it,
right?—you’re not going to win any converts insisting that
“regular” sex is somehow more disgusting than snugglin’ butts
and huffin’ farts.
So how do you get some? That’s a toughie. Most women are going
to view your kink as disgusting no matter how you talk to
them about it. What’s more, the type of women who save themselves
for marriage may be up for kissing, cuddling, and heavy petting,
but I can’t imagine many will be down with ripping a few off
while you snuggle their butts. The kind of big-hearted, game-for-anything
women who might be willing to indulge you will probably make
some sexual demands on you of their own—demands you won’t
be able to meet, since you’re saving disgusting regular, oral,
and anal sex for your wedding night. So until you meet the
woman you plan to marry, FART, you’ll probably have to hire
someone to do this for you. Then when you do meet the woman
you intend to marry, hopefully she’ll love you so much she’ll
be willing to put out—poot out?—when you tell her you’re a
occasionally visit a professional dominant. That isn’t the
problem. The problem is, I’ve got an abrasion on my penis.
Sometimes I get a little masturbation-happy, and I end up
with a little sore on the shaft. Here’s the actual question:
Do I tell Ms. Domme about the sore on my dick up front? “Hey,
before you ask, that’s not an STD, it’s just an abrasion from
too much jerking off.” Or do I only explain if she asks? There’s
no chance that she’d catch anything even if I did have an
STD. I’m only paying her to tie me up and step on me. But
she has tied up my penis and balls on previous visits. Your
Open Sore Troubles
Golden Rule applies to interactions with sex workers, MOST,
just as it applies to interactions with other sorts of people.
If Ms. Domme had a sore on her genitals you would, I suspect,
prefer to be told before you handled her genitals. So even
if you’re not having intercourse with Ms. Domme, point out
the sore, tell her how you got it, and offer to wear a condom
at your next session. She may not require to wear a condom,
MOST, but the call really should be hers.
Hey, Everybody: We have a winner. Savage Love readers, by
a wide margin, want Sen. Rick Santorum’s name to stand for
. . . that frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is
sometimes the byproduct of anal sex! It was a landslide for
that frothy mixture; the runner-up, farting in the face of
someone who’s rimming you, came in a distant second. So congratulations
to WUTSAP, who nominated that frothy mixture, and a big thank-you
to the thousands who voted.
But now that the votes are all counted and a winner has been
declared and the cheering has stopped, I see a problem. While
everyone who has anal sex has to confront a little santorum
now and again, no one likes to think about santorum, much
less discuss it. A polite buttfucker says nothing about santorum
to the embarrassed buttfuckee, and vice-versa. They just get
up and clean up. Since people don’t discuss santorum even
with people they’ve covered with santorum, getting the word
into general use is going to be tricky. I’m willing to do
my part, however: Please send me your santorum-related questions
and/or santorum-related memories and I’ll do a column or two
on santorum. This will not only help to get the word out and
into general use, but also help break the silence about santorum.