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I
am an 18-year-old female dating a 19-year-old male and we
are both virgins. We met in a behavior modification program.
We are now both home and dating, which we couldn’t do in the
program. It’s my first committed relationship, and we’re in
love. We want to have sex. My parents are fine with it, but
his parents are devout Catholics who would be very upset.
He wants to have sex anyway, which I definitely want, but
his parents pay the bills for him and he could be in big trouble
if they find out. I love this boy and I hate leaving him in
pain every time I see him, and both of us very sexually frustrated.
I would say we should just do it anyway and not bother telling
his parents. However, this would be hard because my parents
would be paying for the birth control and they would not approve
of his parents not knowing. Either way, someone’s parents
are going be upset. I don’t know if we could afford our own
birth control and I don’t want to be sneaking around.
—Needing
Sex Checking Morals
Jesus
Christ, NSCM! What did your parents expect them to do to you
two in that behavior modification program!? Lobotomize you
and castrate him? He doesn’t need permission from his parents
to have sex, and you don’t need your parents’ permission to
have sex with him. You’re both adults, even if you are living
at home, and adults don’t tell their parents everything. Adults
certainly don’t go to their parents for permission when they
decide they’re ready to have sex. You’re not “sneaking around”
when you have sex behind your parents’ backs, NSCM, you’re
having a private life.
If your parents won’t supply you with birth control without
insisting that you blab to your boyfriend’s Catholic parents
about the impending loss of their son’s precious virginity,
NSCM, then go and buy your own damn birth control! Ten minutes
picking up cans by the side of the road and you’ll have enough
cash on hand to buy a dozen condoms. Geez!
I
am ass-over-teakettle in love with a boy . . . but . . . he
was badly abused for a long time. And raped at the age of
10. He can not admit his love for me but I can tell from how
he acts. Not long ago I told him I could never date him based
on the fact he hit his last girlfriend. (She was being really
bitchy and said something his dad who beat him used to say.)
Now he has left under dark of night and I don’t know where
he is. Before he left he told me he loved me. I said “no way,”
even though my heart was saying “yes!” Now I know I really
do love him. If he comes back should I date him?
—Loves
Broken Things
Hmm
. . . let’s add it up . . .
Here’s a guy who was abused by his father, raped at 10, and
left so badly damaged that he has a hard time expressing his
feelings. He also hit his last girlfriend, who was being,
you know, really bitchy and stuff. And he recently disappeared,
and no one knows where he is. Gee, I don’t know, LBT, but
something about this guy makes me think he just might not
be relationship material. Call it a hunch.
As
always, your advice to FART was spot-on. FART wanted to know
how to talk women into letting him sniff their farts, and
insisted his fetish wasn’t disgusting. You rightly pointed
out that it is DIS-gusting. Here’s something that may make
FART feel a bit better about himself: None other than James
Joyce was into the same thing. In a dirty letter Joyce sent
to his beloved, “my sweet little whorish Nora,” you can read
the following:
“You
had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked
them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little
merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending
in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting
woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would
know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in
a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not
like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It
is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let
off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will
let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know
their smell also.”
That’s pretty literate considering what he’s describing. After
that, I may even read Ulysses.
—Tim
Chilman
P.S.
I can’t think of an acronym but I’d be proud to have my name
on your degenerate page.
I’m thrilled to have your name on my degenerate page, Tim,
and I’d like to mention my brother’s name as well, Bill Savage,
who stuffs youngsters’ heads—and only their heads—at Northwestern
University. I have to admit that I doubted you, Tim, and I
worried that you might be making all of this up, so I asked
my brother to look up Joyce’s letters. He verified that, yes
indeed, James Joyce, like FART, was a gas huffer.
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I
propose that Roger Nance of Houston be awarded the title of
Patron Saint of Gay Rights. Mr. Nance, as more people should
be made aware, was the neighbor of John Lawrence and Tyrone
Garner in Houston who made a false report to the police that
resulted in the two men being arrested for having anal intercourse.
Their case went all the way to Supreme Court, which, as everyone
now knows, just declared sodomy laws unconstitutional. Had
Roger Nance not made that call, gay sex would still be illegal
today in Texas as well as many other states. For this reason,
I propose his sainthood. And I hope it really pisses him off.
And I hope that you will mention this fine American in an
upcoming column.
—Dennis
D.
I
am happy to call attention to Roger Nance’s contributions
to the struggle for gay and lesbian equality, DD, but sainthood
seems a bit much. Perhaps we could name a brand of lube after
him? And while American sodomites are expressing our gratitude,
let’s give thanks—and give cash—to Lambda Legal Defense and
Education Fund (lambdalegal.org). Yes, Roger Nance got the
ball rolling in 1998, but it was Lambda Legal that invested
years and hundreds of thousands of dollars pursuing the case
through the courts, and it was Lambda Legal attorneys who
successfully argued Lawrence vs. Texas before the U.S.
Supreme Court. All you gays and lesbians out celebrating last
week? Send Lambda Legal a check today. You too, straight folks:
It wasn’t just anti-gay sodomy laws that the Supremes struck
down, but anti-straight sodomy laws in nine states. Make checks
out to Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, and mail ’em
off to Lambda Legal, 120 Wall St., Suite 1500, New York, NY
10005. Do it now.
mail@savagelove.net
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